


Back in Time (To the Good Ol' Days)

by Shared_Shield



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Peggy Carter, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Magic, Medical Inaccuracies, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Science, Time Travel, bucky and tony hate each other, necrotizing faciitis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:29:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shared_Shield/pseuds/Shared_Shield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky had always protected Steve, when he had been sickly and skinny, as well as after his best friend had become Captain America, big, broad and nearly invincible, and now that Bucky's back, he carries on with his duty. Until Steve gets hit by a strange laser that is more than just that. And suddenly Bucky is confronted with the possibility he might not be able to save his Steve. But there's magic and time travelling gods and a minimal chance he could succeed. So he tries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How that dumb fuck got injured

**Author's Note:**

> Since I've seen Civil War, I'm even bigger Stucky-trash than before. That in addition to my Peggy Carter obsession (please Netflix, do us the favor) created the idea for this story. And I just love bamf!Bucky.  
> So, I hope I'll manage it to get this mumbo-jumbo, science-magic-and-time-travel-story out of my head and on my computer screen sucessfully.  
> This is the first multi-chaptered fanfiction I write in English and as a not-native-speaker, I'd be glad if you could point out any spelling or grammatical errors or other shortcomings.  
> I'll try to update as frequently as possible.  
> Feel free to talk to me on tumblr (shine-and-rise-sammy)
> 
> Have fun!!

It was loud.   
Explosions, screams, the screeching of metal that was torn apart made everyone's skin crawl. 

The air was dusty and smelled like burned plastic, it was nearly impossible to see the streets from the top of a storehouse. Not to mention the people who crowded sidewalks and roadway equally, wild and unpredictable due to the sheer panic which made their hearts run wild. Wasn't the first thing on every emergency plan to stay calm? Obviously people didn't take them by heart. 

Bucky sighed and brushed some hair out of his face. There were civilians everywhere. Not one spot was without a screaming or crying person. The most did both. Once again he envied Steve for his seemingly endless patience. He guided them, protected them and showed them places where there were safe. Well, slightly more safe than on the open streets. 

He himself was positioned on a roof, his rifle ready to take out these robot things that looked suspiciously much like Stark's Iron Legion and with a mood that had hit a new low. 

"Fuck me, how am I supposed to shoot these damn things?!", he growled. Irritated he noticed gleeful laughter beside him. 

"Oh, shut up, idiot. Don't tell me you get an aim." 

"Well, it's definitely worth it. Civilians are a burden, aren't they?", Clint teased him. 

Bucky grunted. 

He didn't mind the archer, he was one of the few persons that acted normal around him and not like he was made out of glass. Besides Sam and, Bucky hated to admit it, Stark. 

Of course, Steve did his best to make him feel normal but whenever the nightmares made Bucky scream or he involuntarily flinched away from a touch, the Captain's eyes were so full of guilt, it made Bucky's skin burn with shame. 

It wasn't Steve's fault, he told him that repeatedly but it didn't make it through his thick skull. He had tried to save Bucky from falling into the icy abyss in the Alps. It just hadn't worked out. 

Even Captain America couldn't have done a damn thing against Hydra without getting his sorry ass in serious danger. Maybe Steve could have saved him from the torture and the brainwashing, maybe. But Bucky probably would have died far too early anyway and Steve would have done even more dumb shit than he had actually done. 

Although, there was nothing dumber than crashing a plane in the freezing ocean, was there? 

"Hey, Legolas, IRobot, what are you doing up there? Taking a nap?", Stark's voice was unbearably annoying through their headsets. 

"Well, if you don't mind some collateral damages, we can start shooting. Get those fucking civilians off the streets!!" 

"Okay, what Mr Grumpy here wanted to say, is that we don't get a clear shot at any of those things. Would you please so kind to evacuate the people properly?" 

"Wow, I didn't knew Clint could talk like an actual human being!", Sam snickered. 

"Shut up, Wilson, or I shoot you out of the sky!" 

"Guys, we have a job here!" 

Steve, the voice of reason. Of course. 

"You know what? I'm going down there. It's better than sitting up here and doing nothing", Bucky said to Clint and checked his guns and knives. 

"If you like to get your ass busted by those lasers, have fun, I'm staying, my ass is much too nice for that", Clint mumbled and released the first arrow that day. It hit its target. 

The ex-assassin climbed down the building on the outside, it was faster and staircases just sucked. 

The chaos on the ground was even bigger when you were in the middle of it. The air was static because of Thor's lightnings, the roars of the Hulk were somehow muted by the thick smoke and the fires everywhere made it unbearably hot. 

"Do we know if those robots have any weak spots?", Bucky called as he began to chase one of them. 

"The back of their necks, there's some uncovered wiring", was Stark's immediate answer. He may be an asshole but at least he was good at his job. 

Bucky followed the advice and was granted with success, the robot stumbled and fell like a puppet whose strings were cut off. 

"Where do they even come from?", asked Wanda through gritted teeth. There were some flashes of her red energy around him. 

Bucky liked Wanda, she was quiet, not intrusive at all but she voiced her opinion when she felt the need to. And she had been a big help for him. When he had come back to Steve, he had been confused. He had regained just so much memory that he knew who he was and who Steve was, he had known how he became the Winter Soldier and what he did during his time with Hydra, even if it was all foggy and muddled. 

She had helped him to sort out the things that they had implanted to his brains, commandos, trigger words and such nasty stuff. But she couldn't take away the guilt. Not that he wanted her to. 

It was a part of him, he had killed all those people, he pulled the trigger, he had to live with it. But helping a group named 'The Avengers' could maybe do some good for his conscience. 

"They look like a bad copy of your Iron Legion, Tony", Natalia voiced Bucky's thoughts. 

"You're right, a bad copy... But I don't think those are ordinary lasers..Friday, run a test!"   
"I do believe the lasers a equipped with some kind of biological weapon", Vision said like it was the most ordinary thing to battle robots that could destroy the goddamn human population on earth. 

There was an unusual silence on the intercom. 

"What? A biological weapon? Are we talking radioactive spiders? Some wrong gone make-up that turns humans into zombies? Vampires? Werewolves?", Clint asked. He didn't even sounded surprised. 

"My analysis revealed that the lasers are indeed a biological weapon. The inventor made it possible to transport bacteria that transfer necrotizing fasciitis through the weapon system of the robots", FRIDAY provided everyone with shocking information. 

"I'm not sure if I know what that means", Steve said cautiously while he slammed his shield in the neck of a robot. He didn't even sounded like he was out of breath. 

"Well, Captain Iglo, it means if you get hit by the lasers you get eaten by bacteria. Yayy!!" 

"Aw, man, becoming a werewolf sounded like so much more fun", Barton muttered, there was actual disappointment in his voice. 

What the fuck. Bucky was surrounded by maniacs. 

Suddenly he missed the times when it had been all about just shooting the bad guys. Sure, war wasn't nice but was much easier. Except it wasn't. Hydra had made shit crazy in the forties too. 

The idea struck him like lightning. 

"Could it be Hydra? They could have built those things, right? They saw them often enough", he thought out loud. 

"That's actually very plausible. I'm sure there are still some underground labs", Natalia pointed out and added a curse in Russian. 

"What?! I thought we'd wiped them out?!", called Clint, "I've bled far too much because of those assholes." 

"Cut off one head, two more will grow back", Bucky muttered darkly under his breath. Hydra would never vanish completely, they were too clever, there was no way the puny rest of S.H.I.E.L.D could catch them all. 

"Sorry, but have you all forgotten that we need to deal with the human-eating-bacteria-problem? What are we gonna do about that?!", Sam sounded disturbed. 

Pfft, what a wimp. You got eaten, what about it? You could get captured and tortured, to be eaten sounded much more appealing. 

"Well, try to not get eaten", Steve said and Bucky grinned. Sassy Steve was his favorite Steve. 

 

In the end it all went smoothly. Actually it was suspiciously easy to destroy them, especially when you got the Hulk on your side. Not even flesh-eating-whatevers could pierce that green armor. It was impressive to see that monster in action and the small, cautious man only minutes after. It was even more impressive to know that the monster was born because Banner wanted to recreate Steves serum. 

Bucky thought Banner had gotten closer than anyone ever had. He was bigger, stronger, invincible (what Steve was not), sure, the greenness was a little odd and that thing with the anger a little unfortunate but otherwise? The Hulk had been able to stop those alien whales, dammit, Bucky had seen footage, that was just unbelievable. He couldn't quite grasp why Banner thought it was a curse. 

Yes, he killed innocent people but with the control he had now he could help thousands of people! 

Bucky bit his lip as he thought that. It wasn't appropriate to think about civilians in that manner. They needed to be protected, every damage on them was a loss. 

It was one of the hardest points of his recovery to start care about innocent life again. He knew they were the most valuable good to protect and he knew every life mattered but they hadn't done that for such a long time. That made the guilt even more massive. 

After all, Bucky had been right, it all went far too smooth. 

They were cleaning up, Natalia calmed down Banner with a lullaby, and the rest helped the emergency services that begun to tend and rescue harmed civilians. 

Bucky was rather content, he didn't remark any casualties, not even after he and Steve released a family from their prison made out of rubble. 

He should have noticed it. He was sure the Winter Soldier would have noticed it if he had been present. But he wasn't and therefore he didn't notice. 

There was one fucking robot left. One. 

It was banged up badly and pretty much destroyed and if Bucky had known how Ultron had made its entrance, he would have seen similarities. 

The thing struggled to get up but managed to do so, staggered into Steve's and Bucky's direction with a raised limb ready to shoot. 

It was the family's youngest daughter who saw the danger. She let out a high pitched scream full of terror and hid desperately behind her father's shoulder. 

Both them reacted immediately. Steve shoved them out of the way and Bucky ushered them to a safe spot. It should have been the other way around, he should face the robot, not Steve. It was his job to protect this moron, goddammit, and he never made it easy. Furthermore, you may call it an unfortunate coincidence, Steve lacked the speed to pull out his shield fast enough for the first time ever. 

The robot had its repulsor already charged and just fired it in Steve's direction. 

There was no evil laughter, no intensive eye contact, nothing even remotely villainous. 

It just stood there and fired. 

And Bucky could only watch. 

The laser hit Steve with full force. He flew backwards against a wall, limp like the ragdoll Becca had played with when she had been a kid (A tiny part of Bucky's brain wondered why this particular memory where his sister had thrown the doll against a wall while throwing a fit was triggered. Only a small amount of his memories dealt with the time before he got drafted, sure, he remembered Steve and Sarah, beat-ups in backalleys but not much more), landed hard on the rubble and did not move any further. 

It felt like an icy hand grabbed Bucky's insides. With a blinding rage he threw himself at the robot, punched it with his metal fist, crushed the hastily designed face and actually ripped it apart. It wasn't a nice thing to watch, the family's son would be tortured with dreams about a man tearing apart a robot with bare, well, almost bare hands for months after. 

When he was done, Bucky just stood there breathing hard. In his mind was a numbing blankness, he heard the plates of his arm softly whirring and shifting when he crushed a piece of metal that had once belonged to the robot. 

He stared to the ground and wondered what he was supposed to do now. He'd defeated the enemy, what else was there to do? 

Steve. 

The name appeared in his mind and he snapped out of the blank state, it felt like coming back to the surface after a dive. Air filled his lungs again and suddenly everything came back into shape and the colors were brighter and all the noise was so much clearer. 

"Steve..", it was not more than a whisper that escaped his lips when he hastily turned and darted across the street to get to the Captain. 

Sam was already there, his wings were safely tucked into the backpack thing and he kneeled above his friend controlling breathing and pulse. 

"We need medical help immediately, Steve's been hit, his abdomen looks not good, respiration and pulse acceptable so far. We're across the burning Starbucks. Hurry!" 

He sounded all calm and collected. It was the experience, Bucky thought, he's seen some serious shit. 

"Wilson...", as much as he wanted to, Bucky could not convince his mouth to form a coherent sentence. 

"Come on, Cap, now's not the time to get eaten, you've got some good to do", muttered Sam under his breath while he monitored Steve's vitals as good as he could without any equipment. 

Bucky expected to see blood pooling under his friend's body but there was only the grey of the asphalt, no blood, no flesh, no organs. It was like he just laid there to take a break. 

'Get your sorry ass up, Rogers, you've slept long enough!', he wanted to say, wanted to hear Steve laugh as a response and wanted to see him get up with a groan that sounded like his body was really a hundred years old. 

"Wilson!", his voice was stronger now, it didn't waver, showed no signs of distress. 

"Natasha! Why're the medics taking so long?! We need help here!" 

Bucky listened to static crackling and waited for Natalia's voice. She'd be here any moment, right? She always arrived on time. 

He cursed himself for being so whiny and childish, his best friend needed help, he possibly was on the verge of death, that was much more common for him than Bucky'd like it to be. 

"Sam!" 

Now Wilson turned around and faced him. His expression was calm and concentrated but Bucky could see how nervous he really was, the anxiety bubbled underneath a carefully arranged mask. 

"What can we do?" 

"Come over here, Barnes, stabilize his head and watch his breathing. Tell me if it changes." 

Bucky felt better, those were instructions he could follow, he didn't need to evaluate every step he took, didn't need to think about it. 

There wasn't really a wound to look at, the part of Steve's uniform that normally had white and red stripes was now black and torn. There was some brown and dark red too, but Bucky didn't bother to examine it any further. Instead he looked at Steve's head resting on his thighs. His eyes were closed, his mouth was slack, his hair covered in dust. Carefully Bucky brushed it out. 

"Why isn't he bleeding?" 

"The laser cauterized the wound. That's good, we don't need to worry about any damages because of blood loss. The bacteria are a different story, though", through the intercom they heard how Natalia instructed the medics to find them. 

"Is he contagious now?", Bucky asked still cradling Steve's head in his lap. Even if he was, he wouldn't let go of him. 

"I'm not sure. The only time I saw shit like this was on Grey's Anatomy. I never had to deal with biological weapons overseas, thank god", Sam shrugged and managed a half-grin, "Try to not get in contact with his blood." 

Bucky nodded and stared again at Roger's face. 

'Dumbass', he thought angrily, 'Can't you take care of yourself properly just once? I'm back for a few months and you manage it to turn it into shit all over again.' 

He didn't notice his aggravated breathing neither the way Sam was looking at him. Whoever was responsible for all this, he'd get his ass busted. He'd go over bodies for this, no matter if Steve turned out okay after all, his lover got hurt and that was all that mattered. 

"We don't even know how his serum reacts. Maybe it's not that bad", Bucky saw Sam wanted to touch him but he drew his hand away before it could happen. It was really not the moment to get touchy and feely. 

"Hey, how's he doing?", Natalia. 

Finally she arrived, panting, with some medics trailing her. 

Bucky did not listen to them but kept his eyes glued to Steve, his Steve. 

"Sorry, Mister? We need to move him, you can't stay." 

"I'm staying exactly where I'm now", he growled back. The medic looked frightened. Good. 

"We don't know how the virus reacts to contact, you're risking it to get infected yourself-" 

"I don't care." 

"Sir, you really need to leave! Captain America needs proper medical attention at a hospital, he'll probably needs to go to in quarantine!" 

"Then I'm going with him!", Bucky roared and lifted his left hand to punch anyone who dared to get in his way. 

"Barnes!!", suddenly his arm went limp, there was a electric sizzle and the muscles in his left shoulder burned. 

Natalia pushed him back against the half collapsed wall, one hand firmly pressed against his chest. 

"You're going to do what the medics ask you to. They tell you to stay away, you stay away. You're putting his life in greater danger than it already is in. So get your fucking act together and do what they say!!" 

"Natalia, I-" 

"Time out, Barnes!", she hissed and turned to follow the medics. 

All Bucky could do was to stand there and watch them leave with Steve.


	2. How to save his sorry ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets to know what has happened to their Captain and Bucky doesn't feel good about it. Steve's not a good patient without Bucky. Natasha's there to help. And Tony gives stupid comments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the next chapter! It's late but pretty long, I hope that makes it up. Furthermore I detected a little error. This whole thing isn't completely AoU compliant since Bruce stayed on earth after the fight of Sokovia. But whatever.  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated. Feel free to point out mistakes, all of this is unbeta'd.  
> Scream at me on Tumblr (@shine-and-rise-sammy)

Bucky hated hospitals and their biting cleanliness, he hated how all the people wore masks, not only the doctors and nurses, but also the visitors who masked their emotions in front of the patients and tried to appear optimistic. He hated how life and death were touching each other. 

Luckily, Steve had his quarantine station in the Avengers Tower, which had different protocols than ordinary hospitals. Much to Bucky's dismay however, that meant he wasn't able to slip into Steve's room when nobody was looking because someone was looking all the time. 

The room itself looked like base on Mars, it was all white, you had to go through a kind of a floodgate to get inside, the doctors wore special suits for protection. Bucky wouldn't be surprised if someone started to grow potatoes. 

Steve was pale and looked frail, even more than he did when he hadn't had an actual immune system yet. But maybe Bucky's holey memory played a trick on him. It told him to go inside to hold his hand and to whisper unimportant reassurances that wouldn't improve the situation, he wanted to- 

"Barnes?", Natalia sounded cautious. Bucky knew he wasn't her favorite person and he didn't blame her. It was hard to be confronted with a part of your past you'd rather forget. And she also didn't dispel the fact that he was still dangerous. Bucky was thankful at least one person in the Tower had enough brain to see that. 

"What?", he asked tiredly and pushed the strands that had escaped his ponytail out of his face. He still wore his heavy combat gear. 

"Debriefing upstairs, Hill wants all of us there." 

"I won't leave", he growled. Bucky didn't give a shit about debriefing, there were enough other people who'd seen everything. Not to mention he wasn't keen on meeting up with Hill. Steve had called it 'a problem with authority', Bucky had answered that Hill simply hasn't got enough experience in the field that would justify her position. 

"You need to. There's nothing you can do anyway", now Natalia sounded cold. She was in her Widow mode. Calculating, unyielding and definitely not the person you'd want to make angry. 

Bucky sighed in defeat and climbed up the stairs to his and Steve's floor to change. He knew she was right, he couldn't do anything to help Steve but to look for a way to help him with people who actually knew what was wrong with him. 

They all met up on the common floor where missions were planned and the movie nights took place and all that stuff. It had a separated conference room with a dark and monstrous table that provided enough personal space for everyone. 

It seemed like they had already started with the debriefing, the holographic screens showed statistics, video footage, analysis of the robots and their lasers. There weren't any pictures and examination results of Steve, so he assumed they hadn't started to talk about the main problem yet. How kind of them. 

"The fact that there weren't any casualties should lift up our reputation immensely. The damage will be covered by the Stark Foundation and people will see us as how we were meant to be. A group to protect innocent citizens from threats they aren't able to stand up against", Hill closed her statement. 

"Not to mention that a national icon was severely injured and they feel the need to be upset and to be sorry for us", Bucky added dryly. He'd seen the hashtags on Twitter, Facebook and the other social networks. #GetWellSoonCap or #Nothingcanbringdownahero. Like they knew shit. 

"Barnes. How thoughtful to actually show up to debrief after all, I think that's the first time you're honoring us with your presence after a mission", Hill pursed her lips and looked at him expectantly. 

He didn't please her with a witty remark or a snarky comment, just dropped heavy on the chair beside Barton. 

"What did the doctors say anyway?", Sam chimed in to get back to what really needed attention. 

"He's stable so far. And it isn't as bad as it could be", Bruce explained. He still wore the baggy after-mission-clothes and looked pretty worn out, nevertheless he provided the update on Steve precisely and alert, "FRIDAY, would you please so kind?" 

"Of course, Dr Banner." 

The holographic screens changed and showed several different scans of Steve. Bucky could make out x-Rays, which seemed fine so far apart from the cracked ribs, and some scans of his head, which he couldn't evaluate. 

"Thank you. So, as you may see, the laser hurt him only superficially, the wound should heal without any major problems, thanks to serum. What is pretty problematic though, is the fact that the bacteria are in his bloodstream already. A normal person would be close to death at this point since the bacteria attack every muscle tissue. However, in Steve's case, both his leukocytes and erythrocytes are strong enough to stand up against the bacteria. There's no actual battle, his immune system is only able to defend his body. This doesn't really sound good, but it buys us some time to look for a cure." 

Bucky never heard Banner talking this much. The Doctor seemed really concerned, but then again, who wasn't? The life of a national icon was on the brink, everybody loved Steve Rogers, even some politicians sent their well wishes and accident had happened just two and half hours ago. 

"What's the prognosis, Doc? How can we get this shit outta his body?", Clint asked. 

Bucky was glad somebody was brave enough to ask the question. 

"Well, usually, the infected flesh is removed, the bacteria are resistant to any antibiotics, in most cases the concerned limb is amputated. We can't do that, since Steve's abdomen got hit. We could try to remove the flesh there, but this only would be a unnecessary operation because the bacteria already are in his bloodstream. We can only try to find a antidote." 

He pressed his lips together and looked down on his hands, Bucky didn't miss the stress Banner had put on 'try'. 

"How will it affect him?", he asked carefully. Some memories resurfaced, Steve rattled by coughing fits and hallucinating with fever. This wasn't something he wanted to reexperience. 

"Well, he won't be in pain aside from the actual injury. There will be a fever, since his body is reacting to the bacteria, but other than that? He won't feel anything." 

Bucky sighed deeply but quietly enough so only Clint could hear it. At least he wouldn't be in pain, that was a plus. The only one though. 

"You said we need to find a cure for this terrible disease, friend Banner. Would it be of help if I traveled to Asgard to ask our fine healers for advice?", Thor proposed. Bucky was surprised the god understood this much. Although he passed a great deal of his time on earth, his bearings were still a little odd and he didn't really get behind how the society worked here. 

But Steve wasn't that different. Bucky nearly grinned as he recalled Natalia's stories how Captain America discovered the 21st century. His enthusiasm for the internet was almost childlike and never failed to make Bucky smile even though it had calmed down a little. 

The technology wasn't new to Bucky, as the Winter Soldier he always had the latest weapons and communication devices, it was the social competence that he lacked which made a life outside the tower pretty problematic. 

"Thor, do you know if there are similar diseases on Asgard? Do the healers have any experience?", Banner didn't seemed too pleased about Thor's idea. After the mess with Ultron he was, let's say, a little skeptical about everything that involved anything remotely alien. Nobody with even a tiny bit common sense could blame him. 

Therefore, Stark had an objection. 

"What does it matter if they don't? We could give it a shot, I don't think Captain 'I can jump off planes without a parachute' would react badly to anything godly." 

"Tony, you seem to forget that we may have only one shot! Start to take this seriously, it's not a game and neither a joke!", Banner scolded him. 

Bucky ran his hand over his face and through his hair. It sounded so wrong to even talk about this. His boyfriend could die. Captain America could die. Just like every other human being. He could die after he survived 70 years of being frozen, an alien invasion, his mind-controlled assassin boyfriend and a robot with an artificial intelligence only to get hit by a laser. 

With a smooth motion Bucky stood and left the room hastily. His chair rotated a little after and when Natalia spoke up, it had stopped. 

"Is the quarantine really necessary, Bruce?", she asked softly. 

"No, I don't think so. I'm not a physician, though, but since only his blood is contagious, the quarantine shouldn't be required", Banner sighed and began to skim through the test results again. 

"I'm going to sort that out." 

Although she didn't like Bucky, Maria Hill had a soft spot for Rogers. And since the good Captain couldn't function properly without his dark twin she would give him that. Not that she had anything else to offer. 

Clint snuck swiftly out of the conference room as well to look after Bucky. Their start had been a little rough, but they had bonded quickly over the fact that they both had been brainwashed and forced to kill innocents. 

Furthermore, Clint loved how Bucky annoyed the fuck out of Stark and occasionally Steve too. Very entertaining and kind of reliving after being stuck in an office with a few agents for hours each day to plan how to get rid of Hydra and to set up a new version of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

It was no surprise to find Bucky on the roof, an old sniper habit that Clint called his own too. They both could see better from the distance. And felt safer somewhere high above the ground. 

Bucky stood at the edge of the roof, arms crossed from what Clint could see, strong and upright, no one would think he was some kind of distressed. 

"Hey, man", he said softly to not scare him, but Bucky probably had heard him while he was still climbing up the stairs. "Hill says, she's gonna remove the quarantine. You can see him if you want to." 

Bucky showed no sign of reaction, just continued to stare down at the streets. 

"He'll probably wake up soon. Go down and show him you're alright before he dies because he's so worried about you." 

"Dies sooner." 

Bucky turned around and hopped down from the balustrade. He looked composed, like somebody who made his peace with what was going to happen. 

"Come on, man. Don't think like that, Steve got through so much without a scratch, he won't go down because he was infected with some bacteria", Clint tried to cheer him up, "And we got Stark and Banner on our side. They brought a artificial body to life, they'll find a way to save him. And if not, we still got Thor." 

He looked at his friend, then he slumped against the balustrade. 

"Give yourself a break, Barnes. You gotta hold it up when you're with Steve, just give yourself one moment to fall apart." 

"Did Wilson shit into your brain?", Bucky grumbled and buried his face in his hands. 

"Naah, man, I'm pretty clever myself, don't need Wilson for that", Clint sat down beside him and nudged his shoulder lightly. 

"I don't know who I am without him", Bucky's voice wavered. 

Clint was silent, pretended to not notice the desperation that rolled off Bucky in waves. 

"He makes me good." 

"Give yourself some credit, Barnes. You came to the Tower, you decided for yourself to be good, to not hurt innocents." 

"What'd happen to Natalia if you died? You think, she would stay with the Avengers just like that? No, Barton, she would hunt down the ones who killed you, she would hunt them down and kill them in the most cruel way she could think of, in the way that I showed her in the Red Room. If Steve dies, I'll do the same. And I don't think I'd come back from that." 

Clint was silent again. This time he didn't do it to comfort Bucky, he was a loss for words. 'Cause he knew it was true. He knew that would happen if Steve died. 

"We've got Wanda. And Vision. And Nat's hella clever too. We'll find something", although he knew it was pointless, Clint still tried to encourage Bucky a little. 

But he only let out a tired huff. 

"Save your breath, Barton. It's pointless to waste it", he ran his fingers through his hair for a last time and stood up, "I'm gonna visit that idiot boyfriend of mine." 

 

It had been a while since the last time Steve came out of the hazy, foggy state of unconsciousness with an undeniable aching in his whole body. 

The last time he had felt that battered and bruised was after Bu-the Winter Soldier fought against him on the Helicarrier. 

The white of the room was blinding and the constant beeping of the monitors unnerving, just like the slight stinging on the back of his right hand. With an annoyed huff he ripped out the IV and detached the electrodes. The beeping rose up to a shrill, long alarm that echoed unpleasantly in his head. 

"Captain Rogers! You need to lie down! Don't rip the IV out again!", a distressed nurse barged in his room and reattached everything he just got rid off. 

"An IV isn't necessary anymore, but thank you, Angela. You can go for now." 

Banner sounded calm yet definite. For once he wore dark jeans and not his usual khakis, what made him look more modern and confident. 

"Dr. Banner, Bruce, what happened?", his surroundings and the nurse's strange behavior did not explain very much. His abdomen had hurt a little when he had sat up but he did not worry about that much since there was some pain everywhere in his body. 

His recollection of how he got here was not really existent so he only could wait for Banner's answer to fill in the blanks. 

"Steve, you got hit by the laser and collided with a wall in the process. There's some bruising on your back and a few of your ribs are cracked, but those injuries along with the burning on your higher abdomen shouldn't take much longer to heal up." 

Banner still stood in the doorway wearing an unreadable expression. 

"And? That can't be the reason you brought me here to the infirmary of the Tower. Usually, I sleep something like that off. And where's Bucky?" 

"He should be here any minute, Captain Rogers", Friday chimed in and released Banner from giving an answer. 

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence between Steve and Bruce, where Bruce looked at anything but Steve and the Captain sensed that something was terribly wrong. Then, finally, the sound of Bucky's fast steps gave Bruce an excuse to leave. 

"Bucky!", he greeted his boyfriend enthusiastically but he only got a weak smile in response. 

"Hey, babe", carefully Bucky placed a soft kiss on Steve's lips and caressed the soft blond hair, "How're you feeling?" 

"Great, I'm fine, really, Buck, but are you? You don't look so good." 

After a further examination Steve had come to the conclusion that something had to be wrong with Bucky, he never wore his hair in a ponytail and he never wore a hoodie when he was outside of the shared apartment. After 70 years of not being able to decide how to present himself, Bucky was very specific about his outer appearance. 

He loved black skinnys and leather jackets, the light ones, that gave him an unbelievably slim waist, as well as the heavier ones, that made him look bulky and dangerous. There were a lot of dark colored button ups in the shared wardrobe, along with incredibly soft cashmere v-necks (which Steve appreciated greatly, thank you very much) and some band shirts, but Bucky didn't wore them often since Tony always bitched about them ('He doesn't even know the music!! He's not allowed to wear the shirts therefore!'). 

Steve had not liked the long hair at first, but the split ends had been cut off so that Bucky did not look like a wild animal anymore, so he had gotten used to it. 

And, much to his surprise, he had detected that Bucky loved to wear his pullovers and the few hoodies Captain America possessed, but only after he had wore them before. Steve felt warm about the fact Bucky found comfort in his smell. 

Bucky sighed deeply and pushed the strands that had escaped the hair tie behind his ears. 

"Steve, we need to talk about you now. I know you hate it, I know you hate to expose any weaknesses, but you have to be completely honest with me, okay? Promise me, love." 

"Sure, Buck, whatever you want, but could you please tell me what the hell is going on?", he grew more and more impatient with every word that left Bucky's mouth and sounded so helpless. 

"I take it Banner told you got hit by one of the lasers?" 

Steve nodded. "He said my injuries are only superficial and that it shouldn’t need long for them to heal. Is there something else?" 

Bucky took a deep breath and looked into Steve's sky blue eyes that shone brightly. He had been so happy during the last months. Finally he had lived the life he deserved, without any illnesses, with Bucky and caring friends, who straightened his head occasionally and with the ability to successfully fight the bullies. Of course, Bucky was aware of the dark spaces in his friend's bright soul, but compared to his own pitch black inner self, it had been okay. 

"Just tell me, Buck. Is someone dead? Did someone else get hit? Sam? Natasha?", erratically he moved his hands to rip out his IV again. 

"You got hit, Steve! Isn't that bad enough?! There're some weird bacteria in your blood and this isn't bad enough?! Those things are trying to eat you, god dammit!" 

"I've got the serum, nothing should happen-"   
"Well, I got news for you, pal, something is happening! Obviously your serum isn't strong enough to fight the virus, it can only to withstand them. You can't heal yourself, Stevie, not this time", a sad smile made his face look like a grimace. 

Steve dropped back into his pillows, defeated. 

"What do you mean, it can't fight it? It has to! It has healed everything, the asthma, the heart problems, everything! Why isn't it able to do that now?!" 

 

Steve's voice sounded dull through the pane, nevertheless, Natasha understood every word perfectly. Barnes' attempts to explain Steve his condition were poorly but she didn't blame him. Being ill was one of Steve's greatest fears and because it meant something hurt the Captain, it was the same with Bucky. 

Whenever the former assassin was with Steve, he seemed to be a completely different man. He was so unlike the soldier that had trained her in the Red Room that Natasha had grown to like this person but every time she looked into those steel grey eyes she was back in Russia, a little scared girl that had killed her fear along with her enemies, bloody and brutally. 

She did not want to be that person, she did not want to be cold and heartless, she wanted to be someone who deserved to be loved, who cared about her friends and who was someone's favorite person. 

Since Clint had brought her to S.H.I.E.L.D, she had made some progress but it only had really started when she met Clint's family and joined the Avenger's initiative some years ago. They were her family, her new and brighter future. 

But Barnes was a part of her past, a especially cruel part that had resurfaced with his reappearance and that threatened to overpower her. Clint did his best to calm her, to reassure her that it could never happen, but the fear always lingered in the back of her mind. 

On the other hand working with Steve was good, it made her feel good, like she did the right thing. And Steve knew that Bucky was not the same person as the Winter Soldier. According to him, Bucky was a sweet, caring person, a little cocky maybe, but he made always sure he fought for the right thing and that he would not hurt anyone. 

It was hard to see that person in Barnes, but Natasha could try, she would try it, for Steve's sake. She would do whatever was needed to not let Steve die. 

"Steve? The thing is, against this one thing your serum can't do anything. You still got some time, a normal human would be dead by now, and we'll take that time to figure a solution, to find cure for your condition, that's the plan, that's what Barnes is trying to explain." 

The enhanced soldiers could only stare at her. 

Then Steve let out a deep breath and dropped back into his pillows. Barnes shot her a grateful look. 

"What can I do?", Steve asked running a hand through his short hair. He already looked defeated. 

"Stay calm, rest. Get your ass not in any danger for once", Bucky took Steve's hands into his and brought them to his lips. It was an intimate moment, Natasha looked aside feeling like an intruder. "We'll figure something out." 

"Can I at least move to our apartment?" 

Again Barnes looked at Natasha for help. 

"I don't think this should be a problem. They removed the quarantine, you don't have to be monitored this closely and I doubt the infirmary can provide a better opportunity to rest than your apartment", she said calmly. Being surrounded by doctors and nurses would set off Steve even more Natasha knew. "I'll let Bruce know." 

The Captain shot her a meaningful look and she wanted to curse him but settled for a grimace instead. When the thing she's had with Bruce had ended as abrupt as it had started, she had known the guys wouldn't miss an opportunity to mock her. But she was relieved Steve felt good enough for it. 

"So. That all sounds pretty horrible, huh?" 

Bucky rolled his eyes. 

"Don't give me any of this shit, Rogers. Just don't. You agreed to let yourself taken care of. All of this is horrible but we're gonna find a way to pull through. We always did." 

Steve looked at him, caught him in a intense stare out of his bright blue eyes. 

"Yes, we did", he said slowly, like he needed to reassure himself. 

"And we will again", Bucky added stubbornly, "This won't end in a tragedy. You already had enough drama for ten lives, don't you think?" 

Steve huffed out a laugh and Bucky didn't miss how one of his hands rested on his abdomen. 

"You in pain?", he asked although he knew what Steve would answer. 

"It's okay." Sure. 

"Don't lie to me. You know that's not one of your strengths", Bucky scolded him. 

"You always looked right through me." 

"Well, you're like a open book, pal. Those pretty blues are not good for hiding", softly he caressed Steve's cheek. Bucky tried to take in every little moment, tried to carve Steve's loving face right into his soul to prevent he would ever forget him. 

He knew there was a member of the medical staff waiting outside the room with a wheelchair ready to take the Captain upstairs. The guy was polite enough not to barge in but the feeling of being watched made Bucky's skin crawl. 

"Come on, let's get you to the apartment, I bet Stark's dying to see you again. That guy's addicted to you", he got up and waved the nurse in. 

Steve stared at the wheelchair like it came right out of hell, but it needed only one stern look from Bucky and his protests died in his throat. 

And he had been correct, when the elevator arrived at their apartment, Tony was already waiting. 

"Hey Cap! How's it going? Are you feeling something? I mean, I've experienced several ways to die already but to get eaten is definitely a new one." 

"It's okay, Tony, I'm feeling actually quite good." 

"Are you sure?", Tony furrowed his brows and took a closer look at the Cap. He seemed a little pale but besides? He still was his good looking self. Quite contrary to Barnes who looked ready to keel over if it hadn't been for the wheelchair. 

"You want to take a picture?", Bucky growled at him. 

"No, I'm perfectly fine, Barnes. If I wanted to look at a shaggy, hairy criminal I'd watch Gary Oldman in 'The Prisoner of Askaban'." 

It was a nice comeback, Tony told himself, but the two grandpas just stared at him like he was insane. 

He sighed and waved them through. 

"Okay, you half-eaten burrito, your chambers are prepared." 

"Screw you, Stark." 

"I love you too."


	3. Google hasn't got a solution for every problem, Asgardian Gods apparently do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know any Russian, so I used google for the lines in russian. If they're wrong, please tell me!

Watching a brainwashed, absolute deadly assassin recover was, without any doubt, one of the most interesting things Bruce Banner had been able to observe to this point.  
At the beginning, Barnes somehow reminded him of himself, introvert, afraid of any contact with other people, no matter if it was physical or not.  
It had been extremely difficult to get a proper look at the former soldier during his first days at the Tower. White lab coats seemed to scare him, but who could hold that against him?  
Now his posture had changed, it was much more confident but tipped a little to aggressive from time to time, Bruce was pretty sure it was a defense mechanism.  
When Barnes was relaxed (meaning when Steve was with him and not in immediate danger), he was quite good at talking, a concentrated listener, clever, witty and patient, he even had managed to speak with Thor about a special sort of weapons one day around the one-and-a-half-month mark of his stay.  
The physical contact, however, had been a more difficult thing to deal with. To Barnes it had been a completely new concept that a touch did not mean any harm, but with time and seemingly unconditioned patience and love from Steve, he had managed to grow more comfortable with it. Still he preferred it to be the one who initiated it.  
To see him exchange cuddles and kisses with Steve amazed Bruce like nothing ever had.  
The Captain laid in their shared bed, carefully tucked in the blanket, Barnes sat on an armchair next to the bed and held Steve's hand, he was the one who seeked the contact. They both smiled, well, Barnes smiled and Steve wore an embarrassed expression but broke into a grin as well after a few seconds, they probably shared some old stories about the war or their childhood in Brooklyn.  
They were at peace and it almost seemed like nothing was off, but Steve's skin was pale and a light sheen of sweat coated his forehead. Bruce also did not fail to notice the hint of despair that was edged into Barnes' expression.  
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need the hourly blood sample", he made his presence known.  
Steve looked up, his smile faltered and he sighed.  
"I swear to God, if I didn't knew better I'd say you drink that stuff down there", he said, desperately trying to cover the tension that suddenly stuffed the room, making it hard to breathe.  
"Maybe they're selling it on Ebay", Barnes muttered darkly, the 'as long as they still can' echoed loudly in their heads.  
"We just want to see what's happening inside your body, Steve."  
He withdrew his stare when the needle pierced his skin.  
"I know, just wanted to lighten up the mood."  
"I think we all appreciate it", Bruce smiled, "How're you feeling? Are you in pain? Experiencing nausea or dizziness?"  
"I'm good, just a little tired and maybe there's some dizziness, but Bucky makes sure I'm staying in bed, so I'm not really sure about that. See, I'm completely honest", he squeezed Barnes' hand and smiled.  
"Yeah, for once. Weren't about that parachute", Bruce knew the thing with jumping out of planes without a parachute had caused a huge fight between them but now Barnes smiled tightly and tried to ease out the tension.  
"So, I'm all done, the wound's already closing", Bruce secured the blood sample, "James, can I talk to you for a second?"  
"Sure. Stevie, you need anything from the kitchen? Another tea? Something to eat?"  
"I'm fine, Buck, don't worry", Steve smiled reassuringly but Bruce had the unsettling feeling it had the opposite effect.  
The two men walked to the kitchen island silently, Bucky immediately set up the kettle to make some more tea.  
"Any news, doc?"  
"Nothing important, I'm afraid. He's stable, his vitals are good so far, his temperature is 39°C/ 102,2 F by now, it's not alarming yet."  
Barnes nodded staring into open space.  
"Just make sure he stays hydrated and gets some rest."  
"Will do. What's the thing you really wanna talk about?"  
It was creepy how Barnes seemed to look right into his mind sometimes. Very unsettling.  
"I know, you don't want to leave him right now, but we could use another pair of eyes down there. FRIDAY is all over the internet and brings up any article related to necrotizing faciitis, we need help seeing them through. It may be his only chance."  
"Some great inventors are you. Thought you and Stark were the cleverest ones, seems I've been wrong", Barnes growled through gritted teeth.  
Bruce knew better than to become agitated because of an insult like that. Barnes was emotionally compromised, a reaction like that showed he was still desperate to fight.  
"As I already said, Tony and I are physicists, we're not physicians, we have no degree in medicine, but we're in touch with some of the best that have one."  
"What's with the Cho girl, who fixes Barton every time he gets his ass busted?"  
"Tony already contacted her, she does what she can."  
Barnes stared at him stoically, but eventually his hard expression faltered and he turned to get the tea ready.  
"I'll join you downstairs, as soon as he's asleep", Bucky carried the steaming mug with his metal hand and rushed past the doctor.  
"And James?"  
"Yeah?"  
Bruce looked at Bucky in the way only a man could who had already lost the love of his life, like someone who had seen his fair share of loved ones dying. It was a promise that dark times would come, something big, that would rip everything apart and that would spare no love, no happiness, nothing remotely positive. It was hopelessness, but a composed hopelessness, a plead to hold his strength as long as possible.  
The scientist looked at the soldier in a way that said 'prepare for the worst'. 

They took turns with watching Steve since nobody but Vision could stare at medical experiments and research results for more than four hours straight without becoming insane.  
The conference room was quiet except for the occasional rustling of a chips bag or the noise of someone sucking on a straw or the faint boiling of water inside the coffee maker. Tony and Bruce were with the doctors in one of the labs, Maria managed things from her office, the rest of the Avengers sat on chairs, the table or the floor reading.  
Whoever was with Steve tried to hold up the illusion of normality, Clint watched stupid cartoons with him, Natasha sat in quiet with him while they read or slept, Sam continued 'Once upon a time' with him what they had started to distract Steve when Bucky had been away, Wanda got Steve to tell her stories about the Howlies whereas Thor told him war stories with his brother, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, Pepper dropped by from time to time and provided new gossip from Stark Industries. Bruce came only to take the blood samples, while Tony did not show up at all simply because he didn't want to.  
Steve did not take that personal, he knew Tony well enough. The engineer wasn't really fond of watching someone he cared about dying.  
And Bucky, Bucky tried to stretch his visits as long as he could. Although he did his best to hide it, Steve saw the anger and fear seething inside of him but he managed to keep it at bay.  
It was very early in the morning, you could see the faint beginning of the sunset at the eastern sky, when Bucky threw his tablet on the table, frustrated. Clint, who slept with his head on a pizza carton, startled awake and knocked over the can with energy drink.  
"Aww, fuck, man", he grumbled and tried to soak up the drink with his shirt.  
"What is it, James?", Wanda asked softly. Her eyes seemed huge with the dark circles underneath them. Vision had tried to persuade her to go to sleep around 1am, but she had stubbornly refused. She wanted to help Steve.  
"It's just... All of this seems useless. I mean, if there was a possibility to fight these bacteria, there would be an article, right? There would be a fancy, famous doctor with a Nobel prize or a Harper-Avery-Award or something, who would be rich because he discovered a way to wipe out that damned stuff!"  
"You're watching too much Grey's Anatomy", Natalia said with a smirk.  
"It physically hurts me to say that, but Barnes is probably right. If there was a way, we would have found it by now", admitted Tony with a pained expression while he massaged his temples with two fingers. Bruce nodded approvingly behind his mug.  
Clint rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "So, what do we do now? We can't just give up like that."  
"And we won't", Bucky felt Natalia's eyes on him when she stated it. She really seemed to care, but it was surely because of Steve, not because of him.  
He was glad Steve had an ally in the redheaded Russian. Not only she was an excellent fighter and spy but she also had enough common sense and empathy to prevent Steve from realizing whatever stupid and reckless idea he had.  
Bucky depended on her and he thought he even liked her, but just like Natalia, he feared the shadows of his past. He could stand being reminded of the times the Russians or Hydra or whoever tortured him, but thinking of the little girls he taught how to kill? It only made his guilt more massive.  
"Just let us go through the facts here", Sam began. He had only returned from Steve and now it was Thor's turn to watch the Captain. "The only thing keeping those bacteria at bay is the serum, right?"  
"That's correct. 10 points to Gryffindor."  
"And there's no medicine to kill 'em? Not even that thing from Dr Cho?"  
"No, there isn't, Angry Bird."  
"Okay", Sam frowned and began to fiddle with his phone.  
"Would a treatment with gamma radiation be helpful?", Natalia proposed carefully, she avoided to look at Bruce.  
"Maybe, but the risk that the bacteria mutate as well, I don't want to take it", Banner explained surprisingly composed.  
"So, therefore, the strongest...thing against the bacteria is the serum?", inquired Hill, who had come downstairs around midnight when there had been no one else to call. Her usually neatly styled hair was ruffled and untidy.  
"That's the case", Tony answered with a sober and earnest expression. He also was really invested in all of this and encountered the topic with a remarkable seriousness. Bucky had the feeling he had to correct his opinion of Howard's offspring.  
"So, theoretically, if we had the serum you could use it to get Steve back on his feet?", Bucky questioned, his eyes darted across the room hesitantly.  
"One would have to remove the contents that provide the growth of the body, but with the health improving elements the bacteria could be fought off", explained Vision with his usual neutral tone.  
"Could you extract the serum from a blood sample?", both, Bruce and Tony, seemed stunned hearing Bucky's question. The two of them had, more or less, known he was clever and they hadn't thought the way he had.  
"We would need an unterminated sample, but otherwise it should be possible, don't you think, Tony?"  
"Yes, yes it should", the engineer appeared to be deep in his tangled thoughts.  
"So, why don't we do that?"  
There was an unusual, even more so uncomfortable, silence this time. Bucky casted everyone not very unobtrusive glances. Clint, Wanda, Sam, Vision and Bruce looked unsuspiciously and excited because of his idea, Natalia and Hill seemed to feel a little guilty, whereas Tony didn't take part in the conversation at all.  
"We do have a fitting blood sample, right?"  
"Well, uh....", Hill started, it was the first time Bucky saw her struggling for words, "We had a few. We took them when we defrosted him in 2012, but... They were at the Triskelion when S.H.I.E.L.D fell and were destroyed....Steve didn't want to provide new ones."  
"He didn't want to?", Bucky's voice was more a growl than anything else, "He didn't want to?! Fury had no inhibitions to do what he wanted. The Avengers are crossing borders and are invading foreign countries because they think it's right and you want to tell me, you didn't took blood samples because he didn't agree with you?"  
The chair he sat on fell backwards as he jumped off it and began to pace the room.  
"I-I don't see how that's a problem", Hill remained stubborn.  
"Goddammit", Bucky muttered running his hands through his hair, tearing some strands out of the ponytail, "Do you think he wanted me to share my food with him? Do you think he wanted me to take double shifts in winter to pay for his medicine? And do you fucking think he wanted me to step into his fights an' gettin' hurt? The fuck he wanted but I didn't care! I didn't care because even Steve doesn't always know what's right and what's wrong. Steve does the things he does not necessarily because they're right. He does them because he wants to and luckily most times he wants the right things, and now get your heads out of your asses!"  
Panting he stood in front of the pretty much baffled Avengers as the meaning of what Hill had just said began to work through.  
"You mean, there's no way we could get hands on the serum?", Barton asked warily with narrowed eyes and a pensive pout.  
There was a metallic clash when Tony chucked his thermos to the ground and vanished from the screen.  
"Tony, wait!", Bruce sighed and followed the engineer.  
The silence at the conference room was deafening, they all just stared numbly into the space in front of them. Sam was the first one to get out of the shock.  
"Fuck", he sighed deeply and rubbed his face.  
For Bucky, 'fuck' wasn't even remotely appropriate. He had thought he was prepared for the worst-case scenario, he had thought he had gotten used to the idea he might lose Steve. It still seemed ridiculous when the realization hit him full force.  
Steve was going to die. He would leave him behind in a strange world where Bucky was a murderer. After all they had gotten through together, every pneumonia, every fight, every cold winter when they had been short on everything, every loss of a beloved person, the second fucking world war and even Hydra, they had pulled through all of this shit and yet it was so easy to tear them apart.  
It felt like Bucky's stomach seeped through the floor underneath him and his knees were more jell-o than skin and bones. His heart fluttered strangely and all he saw were the grey tiles underneath him.  
"Barnes?", Natalia's voice came from far away and sounded so very much not like her, so soft and concerned.  
"Hey, man, don't give up now", Clint was closer to him, on his left, kneeling down beside him (how did that happen anyway?), "We're not gonna let you down."  
Bucky felt how Clint crawled forward, his hand brushed Bucky's thigh and he could smell tuna from the pizza and the uncomfortable sweet scent of the energy drink.  
"I don't understand you, bro, sorry. Are you alright?"  
Only now Bucky felt his lips moving at an unbelievable speed. He wasn't sure what the words meant that came out of his mouth.  
"On ne dolzhen umeret' , prervat' missiyu , net, net, net..." (He must not die, abort mission, no, no, no).  
"Shh, shh, Bucky, pozhaluysta, vse budet khorosho, ya obeshchayu vam",(Bucky, please, everything's going to be fine, I promise you), Natalia's voice sounded even more concerned than before, moreover, she dared to touch him, something she never had done before if hadn't been necessary.  
Startled Bucky stared into her storm-grey eyes, big and round, pupils dilated, one would think she was panicked, but he definitely knew she had herself under control. There was a dark smear underneath her left eye, probably mascara and her eyebrows looked messed up.  
He focused on her touch, her slender fingers were digging into the flesh of his arm, her perfectly manicured nails left little crescents. Her skin was very soft and pleasantly warm, much to his surprise. Cold skin he had expected but this touched felt almost.... motherly, of some kind. It grounded him.  
"It's okay. I've got it", he breathed finally and rubbed his eyes tiredly with the hand that Natalia didn't kept in her clutch.  
"You sure?", her stare pierced him, urged him to hold it together.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry."  
"There's no reason to be sorry, Barnes", Bucky looked up to meet Wilson's eyes, who stood a couple of steps away and watched the scene closely.  
He nodded briefly and noticed how everyone else in the room tried very hard not to stare.  
Fortunately, Tony decided to join at the same moment, followed by Bruce, who looked a little green.  
"Hey, man, you okay?", Clint asked, he had risen to his feet again and was on his way to some cold pizza now.  
Tony's answer was some unintelligible mumbling and he dropped on one of the chairs.  
After biting his lip indecisively for a moment, Bucky followed Clint to the counter where he brewed some fresh coffee. Although he didn't need the caffeine, he liked the taste of black, strong coffee since it provoked a strange, homely feeling that reminded him of Brooklyn in the 30's although they never drank good coffee back then, at least that was what Steve said.  
"Didn't they take blood samples when Steve became Captain America in the war?", Wanda asked, slipping back into her heavy accent.  
All eyes shifted to her, making her squirm uncomfortably in her seat.  
"You appear to be right, Ms Maximoff", FRIDAY suddenly said, making everyone but Tony flinch, "11 samples were taken when Captain Rogers' transformation had been successful."  
Bucky's stomach clenched a little as the AI called it a 'transformation'. He knew it was a thoroughly fitting name, but it sounded alien, like Steve wasn't a human being anymore.  
"10 of those samples were given to the United States of America for research since the responsible scientist Dr Abraham Erskine had been killed by an Hydra operative in the aftermath of the process", the machine paused like she wanted to create tension, "The last remaining sample was passed into the possession of Howard Stark."  
Now, all eyes shifted to Tony, who straightened himself instantly and appeared to be thinking.  
"Sonovabitch", he mouthed suddenly, jumped from his chair and ran off, leaving the remaining Avengers puzzled.  
"FRIDAY, what is he up to now?", asked Hill, who was back at her usual, authoritative self.  
"Mr Stark appears to be searching the archive of Stark Industries."  
"And he can't do that in here?"  
"The records from the company's beginning until the late sixties were never completely digitalized."  
Tony reentered the room with two large boxes with files, huffing with exertion.  
"I thought giving a home to a lot of super people would spare me some physical effort, yet I'm the only one who heaves these goddamn records. Hill, we need all files from S.H.I.E.L.D's beginning and everything from the SSR you can get your hands on."  
"On it", she nodded and darted off to who knows where.  
"You're still sitting? Stop personalizing the chairs with your butt-imprints and help me!"  
In a matter of minutes the early history of Stark Industries occupied every last corner of the table, making it groan dangerously.  
"In there should be everything SI ever possessed, I've got my father's personal belongings listed too, bless Jarvis for being a pain in the ass whenever it came to keeping everything on track."  
They started digging through everything, the staff, the protocols of board meetings and things Bucky didn't want to understand.  
Clint nodded off several times beside him, Wanda looked like she would drop dead at any moment, Bruce snored lightly and was cruelly awakened by the beep beep of his watch, whereas Bucky feared the shadows under his eyes could swallow him.  
The only ones, who were nearly fully operational, were Vision, out of obvious reasons, Natalia, of course, and Tony, who was probably used to staying up several nights more than only one.  
The frustrating thing was that the tons of records gave away nothing. There were the craziest inventions and plans, huge numbers of employees and sickening amounts of money.  
The sun was well above the horizon when Hill came back with some staff members and even more paper files, but fortunately also with several boxes of doughnuts and fresh Starbucks.  
"Maria, you're a saint", Clint groaned, grabbed a coffee and two doughnuts with pink frosting and white sprinkles.  
"I'm aware of that, Barton", she smirked and gestured the staff members to store the boxes in the last unoccupied corner of the room.  
"That's the history of the SSR?", Wilson asked. It seemed to be so little information.  
"The organization only existed from 1940 to 1946, after that S.H.I.E.L.D was founded. Those files are already digitalized", she shot a pointed look at Tony, who didn't listen.  
"But it seems so.... little", Wanda questioned too.  
"I only brought the files that are necessary, meaning everything concerning Project Rebirth and the files with Stark's and Carter's names on it."  
"Mag?"  
"She was one of S.H.I.E.L.D's founders, Barnes, do your homework", Natalia answered absently.  
"I know that! But… I thought, she was done with the SSR after the war and after what happened to Steve.... They were a bunch of assholes", Bucky muttered darkly, "She would have made it without them."  
"Well, that's not exactly right, but not long after she came to New York, Howard Stark was accused to be a traitor. Many of his weapons were confiscated and stored at the SSR. Carter was instrumental in restoring Howard's reputation", Hill hurried to explain, "And I have reason to believe that this is something we should take a look at."  
So, they did.  
Turned out the SSR had had a thing for lists. And reports. Written with an unreadable handwriting.  
Shortly after Hill had come back, Thor appeared upstairs again.  
"The good Captain has been sleeping peacefully during my stay. I did not let down my guard once", he boomed and snatched himself a coffee and three donuts at once.  
"I'll fetch him something to eat", Bucky mumbled and left the room in a fluid motion.  
The tower was unusually quiet, there was no rustling and shuffling on the floor, no screeching or loud music coming from the labs what one could always hear in the stairways. Even FRIDAY seemed to be completely invested in the search for a cure.  
Entering the shared floor a soft noise reached Bucky's ears. The bedroom's TV was on and the low voice of a news anchor seeped through the opened door.  
The bed was a mess, the blankets had been kicked to the ground along with some pillows and the sheets were ruffled. It was uncomfortably hot and Steve laid curled into a ball pressed against the head of the bed.  
The last word Bucky would have used to describe Steve's state was peaceful.  
With his eyes half-open he tiredly watched the weather prognosis.  
"Hey, buddy, how're you feeling?"  
Steve sat up and blinked. There was an enormous cowlick at the right side of his head and dark bags underneath his eyes.  
"Buck", he mumbled as his boyfriend sat down beside him and cradled him in his arms, "T'is so hot."  
"I know, baby", softly Bucky smoothed down the blonde hair and felt the skin on his forehead. It was much hotter than before.  
"Let me look at your wound, maybe we can take a shower to cool you down a little."  
Obediently Steve took off his shirt and let Bucky remove the dressing. The skin beneath it was tender and pink but had closed completely. A shower wouldn't hurt.  
"What do you want for breakfast after we're done?"  
Slowly they made their way to the bathroom, Bucky watched every of Steve's shuffling steps.  
"'m not hungry, Buck", he mumbled, swaying dangerously.  
"Careful, Stevie, I'm not stronger than you anymore", Bucky whispered softly and almost carried his friend to the bathroom. "You have to eat something, you need strength to fight."  
As Bucky and Steve were stepping in the enormous shower and Bucky peppered Steve’s hot skin with soft kisses, the cloud of hopelessness that hung above the conference room became darker and darker.  
Tony smacked the file he had been reading on the table and ruffled his hair.  
"This makes no sense", he mumbled and brushed his hands over his face.  
"What do you mean?", Bruce lifted his head and looked to his right.  
"A blood sample from Captain America himself, my father would never ever have risked it to lose it, especially not to the SSR. He would have hidden it." Tony leaned back on his chair and rotated a few rounds. "He would have hidden it somewhere, where no one would look."  
"At his estate in LA?", asked Hill.  
Vehemently Tony shook his head. "Too obvious."  
"On his body?", Clint proposed.  
"That's even more obvious, Barton, c'mon."  
There was a short pause, everybody stared at Tony expectantly.  
"Of course."  
….  
"Wait-! Tony, come back!"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Where are you going?! Come back!!"  
The room was filled with confused, angry voices, but Tony didn't care. He sprinted downstairs to one of the large storage rooms he had in the tower. Again, he counted himself lucky to not have stored his father's inventions at his LA mansion after the Tower had been ready. If he had, they would be lost.  
Determined he made his way through the dusty shelves. There were stacks of papers with plans for outright insane inventions, robots and weapons. At the end of one particular dusty aisle, there were several boxes filled with stuff an ordinary human being wouldn't even know how to describe.  
Carefully, Tony pulled out a metallic ball, equipped with a simple, unspectacular button. He didn't think twice before pushing it, completely oblivious to the danger the invention could constitute.  
The ball popped open, dividing itself into two halves, and a phial emerged with a soft whizz. An empty phial.  
Tony slumped back against the shelf and closed his eyes. He wasn’t someone who admitted defeat easily but it seemed like he had no other choice. Thousands of experiments trying to recreate the serum had failed, one of the results sat upstairs at the big conference tables. There weren’t any notes or protocols from Erskine left, no possibility to get hands on the formula.  
He pulled out his phone and looked at the plans he had made one night with a bit too much booze for a possible time machine. They weren’t more than some confusing sketches and random notes scribbled on a piece of virtual paper, but travelling through time was the only way to get to a solution.  
Naturally, his life played the most hilarious jokes on him. Very classic.  
It needed some time, the sun was well above the horizon and Tony definitely noticed the last 24 hours on his body, as he slowly made his way upstairs again. There, he threw the empty phial on the table, let it shatter into a thousand tiny pieces.  
“Tony?”  
“It’s not there. The sample doesn’t exist anymore.”  
“How can you know that?”, Wanda asked desperately, “This is nothing more than an empty phial, how do you know you even looked in the right place?!”  
“Because I DID, okay?!! I might haven’t liked my old man, but I do know some stuff about him. For example, that he would have hidden a sample of the blood from Captain America”, he spat out the name like it tasted disgusting on his tongue, “inside a thing called the _Blitzkrieg Button_. That’s where I looked. This is what I got from it.”  
Tony gestured to the shards.  
“So”, Clint began hesitantly, “What does this mean exactly?”  
He already knew the answer, but he didn’t want to believe himself, it seemed so ridiculous.  
“It means, that there’s no way out of this one”, Natasha buried her face in her hands.  
Everyone stilled in his movement and stared at her. Natasha never lost her composure, never. This meant there truly wasn’t another chance of saving Steve.  
“Is this the truth? Stark? Dr Banner?”, Thor inquired. He didn’t witness their desperate search for a cure, for him the situation didn’t seem like a total catastrophe.  
“Yes, Thor, it is indeed true. There is no help for Steve.”  
The shining, golden Son of Asgard dropped back onto his chair. He looked like he was just slapped in the face.  
“If we could travel _through_ time, we could save him. But no, we only have super soldiers _out of_ time”, Tony growled.  
Suddenly, Thor looked up again, new hope shining in his sparkling blue eyes.  
“So, a journey through the times could provide the solution for our problem?”  
Tony laughed bitterly. “Well, yes, but I don’t see a DeLorean with a flux capacitor anywhere around.”  
“This… machine won’t be necessary. We can travel through time without it.”  
….  
“WHAT?!?!?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After more than 6 months I've finally managed to update this thing...  
> Sorry for taking so long, but university, exams, ugghhh...  
> Hope you liked it!!


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